Friday, June 27, 2008 @ 3:10 PM
If you're wondering why I'm home so early,
It's actually because I missed school today. I only woke up an hour ago. What a way to catch up on sleep.
Hit the gym yesterday with Neoneo Machi & Lihong, together with Dennis,
Warren War-ran, David Goh, Larry, Desmond & Niegel (Oh-See-Toh hahahaha.) My arms are aching terribly but I think all nine of us should have abs now because we, laughed, so, much. The guys made me feel so weak because I could barely lift some of the weights ): War-ran went hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha so much I think he nearly died laughing. I then imitated our very adorable English teacher & went, shut upppp.
Certain interesting events took place & certain people definitely gave Neoneo Machi & I something to talk about, I admit it was wrong to talk about somebody like that but seriously, it's time some people stop acting like they're on top of the world & that they're in control of everything. When you get into trouble yourself, I'd definitely like to see what sort of reaction you'd give. Sure, yesterday I could've picked up my phone & simply punch in some numbers but what's the point? That's only going to waste money and besides, being a girl it was already wrong to be there to witness all that happened. If you think I'm a selfish bitch that refuses to help my friends when they're in trouble, then carry on with that thinking of yours because it doesn't hurt me in any way. I've been there, done that, & I just don't get myself involved with such things anymore. If you think it's tough being in a fight, grow up, because it's tougher to walk away from one.
I was talking to Chris the other day & I wondered why everybody calls me Stacy & no one calls me Stace anymore.
Well anyway.
Things are looking up. Well it seems to be, though there are times at night I still feel like something is missing. Certain things I used to find as easy as 123 are now becoming difficult. I wonder why is that so. Have I not been trying? Have I been looking in all the wrong places? Have I been searching too far, when You're beside me, all along? I know Your plans are to prosper & not to harm, but how come I've been taking matters into my own hands, instead of trusting You? How come sometimes it just feels like, You're not here?
Damn enough of that I feel so depressed now. Anyway, Ms Shirley came to look for Meiqi & I yesterday. Her little piece of news definitely ignited something in me (: I know that I'd be picking up yet another thing that I could just leave alone, but it's near impossible to just let this chance pass me by. I guess now I've got to manage my time well-er than well, because this would be taking up quite some time & time, is something that I really need a lot & can't afford to waste. This is one huge risk, but let's imagine, if I clinch the scholarship...
I once told God that if, there was one last thing He'd do for me, I'd want Him to take me away from here & bring me somewhere else. Tonight yet another somebody I know is leaving for Australia, & I just can't help but think, what I'm going to do if I'm the one leaving for another place. All my family & friends are here in Singapore & if I really were to go, I know it'll take a lot of me to just say goodbye. There's a lot to consider, a lot to think about. It'll be tough adapting to a new environment, it'll hurt. But the thought of starting anew somewhere else, in a place where nobody knows my name, definitely beats staying around here, hands down. Maybe, just maybe, if there's a good enough reason for me to stay, I would.
Nothing is holding me back now. Nobody is stopping me. I know all along I've been randomly saying that I want to go get a tattoo, but nowadays I've been seriously thinking of getting one to mark this point of my life. I'm thinking of getting a Kanji tattoo on my back, so I should get Tabbi to do my draft for me (: Pain? Screw pain. Pain is nothing.
Ah, this has been such a long wordy post. Well done if you've managed to read everything, o' faithful reader.